As I turn 24 on Thursday I figured it was time for a little introspection so I came up with what my early 20’s taught me as I head into my mid twenties. What My Early 20’s Taught me
What My Early 20’s Taught me
In my personal life
- You are enough – it can be hard not to compare yourself with peers and friends especially when making your way in life post grad. Speaking to my mentors I found most people do this and it’s okay to do it once in a while but be aware that you are enough. The only person you have to beat is you.
- It’s okay to distance or cut out people who drain you – family, friends and occasional acquaintances.
- Own your feelings with others be honest with friends and family.
- If they aren’t for you they are against you UNFRIEND – I recently deleted most of the girls from my university course from my Facebook mostly because I’d always hear that they were talking about me and my posts – funny I didn’t think they ever saw them as they never liked anything ha!
- If you don’t want to go just say no – you’ll have a terrible time if you force yourself. There’s nothing wrong with spending time alone or with your mom over going out.
In romantic relationships
- Actions matter more than words and intentions.
- You are the prize and a man that doesn’t value you isn’t worthy of you (nor are you of him).
- Never be the only one compromising – your schedule and life is just as important as his
- Men are not mind readers tell them what you want and or need.
- You deserve a man who longs for you like you long for him – there is nothing worse than longing for a man who doesn’t long for you or long for you equally.
- Don’t change who you are for a guy it will fall apart anyway [this one seems obvious but if I can fall prey to it well we all can lol] – I really tried to be different to who I truly am in a recent entanglement, I was the laidback girl with things like his inconsistency and selfishness whereas usually I’d call it out and nip it in the bud. It didn’t work and all it gave me was anxiety, stress induced stomach aches and self doubt. Now I know to always be true to myself. And if it doesn’t feel right it isn’t don’t try to tape that shit together.
I’ll also add that all my relationships have been successful in their own way. Relationships good or bad grow you and teach you – that’s the best way to look at it. Each one is a step to betterment, wisdom and ofcourse a step closer to the right one… or two 😉
In my career path
- To jump to listen to that small voice inside me that whispers my dreams and ambitions and scares me shitless – I wake up every morning happy to head to my studio and work, something I’d begun to dread while working for someone else.
- To present and represent myself how I want to be addressed. Dealing with people decades older when you look and sound like a 5 year old you have to present youself how you want them to address you otherwise they can try to undermine you.
- Speak up – running your own business at a young age means again dealing with people who are older and have more experience but this doesn’t always mean they know more speak up and be heard.
- Ask questions – I found choosing and then talking to my mentors so helpful. It helps to mine those that came before you for advice and encouragement, it normalises how you feel and also motivates you. There’s no weakness is asking for help!
ph by Joshua Brathwaite
Girl this was a needed read <3
Ngoni did you date Ade? I’m laughing so hard the last point about relationships sounds so much like my ex Ade it’s ridiculous.
I’ve read your blog for years and love it when you get personal.