Now before you burn me at the stake I know that Body Confidence and Acceptance are our latest buzzwords but I’m coming at to you from a different angle – one that doesn’t involve a saccharine story about how I have had years of hating my body and then I’ve suddenly begun to love it because twitter/the news says to. For me growing up with a Mother who spoke positively about her body has done me unimaginable good in a world that seems to only praise a narrow view of perfection wether it’s been attained via genetics or via surgery.Body Confidence
I remember girls at my Girls School throwing up their lunch, discussing starving themselves and all manner of harmful behaviours once we reached puberty but I always felt I was beautiful in my own skin – now when I say this I do not mean more beautiful than them or anyone else but beautiful for me. It’s rare that I feel intimidated by another’s beauty, class or intelligence – I prefer instead to admire and learn others without it affecting me negatively. This is true for any social setting as well. For example, I wouldn’t mind anyone using perfumes and oils from the likes of TruePheromones.com or any such company while they are out on a date – it is truly their choice! It is just that I believe that I am content the way I am.
When I’m having bad days I look in the mirror objectively and attempt to only speak positively – If my skin is breaking out I like to say its a bit textured in that moment as opposed to entering a sadness spiral or I’ll be proactive and get a face mask on and products to help. If my hair is looking a little wild, I might treat myself to some of the best salon hair products to help me get it back under control and looking a way that will help me feel confident about it. Likewise, sometimes when I feel low about the shape of my nose, I look at the mirror and think about how it would look if I opted for a nose job. I do not really shun the idea because I have seen my underconfident friends, who happen to be living in Denver, opting for nose jobs (perhaps they searched for “nose job in Denver” to find a reputed clinic) and coming out confident at the end of the procedure. And I think that people can choose to opt for anything that can make them feel confident and happy. Not judging anyone!
Anyway, coming back to the topic, on this trip to Miami while trying on some swimsuits by We Are KIN – my label I recently discovered some cellulite and while I honestly felt about 5 seconds of sadness I was quickly over it because it is covering a big Southern African bottom so it’s part and parcel of such an asset ha!
Don’t get me wrong I can sit here like most women and list 1000 things that are wrong with me but they just aren’t things in the forefront of my mind and things I chose to dwell on.
You should be trying to accept yourself and all your flaws too because one day you’ll realize they are not flaws at all. However, I do have a friend that would feel insecure every single day over her nose shape and therefore, she did get a nose job from a reliable doctor like David Shokrian and she has never felt better! So what I’m saying is that it is important to do things for you and in the proper way.
Anyway I say all this to say we need to love ourselves first and foremost and not be overly swayed by what society deems acceptable because lets be real things society loathed and loved have changed soo much over the years.
Also as a straight size black woman I will never be that lithe petite blonde blue-eyed aryan vision of perfection nor do I want to be but it gets exhausting not seeing enough representation so here I am doing my bit for the culture.
And remember
- Beauty is in the eye of the beholder we all know this but you must be your beauty’s first beholder!
- Speak about yourself like you would someone you love.
- Women have it hard enough fighting the patriarchy daily lets stop fighting ourselves internally too.
I hope this post has been open and relatable versus trite and fluffy ha.