I tend to shy away from super personal or sad things on the blog but at times its good to reflect, share and even muse. As October was Breast Cancer Awareness Month I just figured I should share this as it is super important to be breast aware and also explain why I haven’t been blogging as much. I’ve gone to hit publish on this piece so often and held back simply because I wasn’t sure what was going to happen but I’m now at a place where I have more clarity and I suppose am able to show a more vulnerable side of myself if it means it may just help someone else.

Perhaps my having shared will encourage some of you to check and be aware.

A couple of months ago I felt a lump but I was just too busy to really think; I just figured maybe I’d hurt myself without realising and I suppose subconsciously I was simply trying to talk myself out of really finding out what was going on, I am the Queen of denial when it suits me! Four/five weeks ago I noticed it still hadn’t gone I finally had my mum and best friend coppa-feel (that is simply what they are for right?) and they were both fairly concerned and cornered me into calling a doctor.I just didn’t think it was anything and honestly I was scared about it actually being something and by something I mean cancer.

I went to my GP who thought it was a cyst and tried to drain it using a massive needle (a fine needle aspiration). It turned out it wasn’t a cyst. At this point I got scared most importantly I’d just had my fun-bag stabbed for no reason!

I was then referred to a specialist breast clinic and at this point I was aghast and in full on panic mode ‘omging’ wthing’ like I was on a certain cringe inducing American tv show. Waiting for the appointment honestly caused alot of sleepless nights and tears.

I’m always saying how I’ve never been ill, broken a bone or had surgery so perhaps I jinxed myself.

I saw a specialist who then promptly sent me off for an ultrasound and as I’d stupidly gone to the appointment alone I began freaking out while waiting to be seen by another doctor. It turns out I’m not so good at being a strong independent woman.

Of course, in the course of all of this, I did google a lot just to relieve myself of the restlessness, and found a lot of information online. While some of it was scary, it was also quite informative. I read up on types of treatments for different types of cancers; stuff like gamma knife radiosurgery for brain tumours and other malignant formations, things I had never been aware of before. Now, just knowing that so many people suffer through such conditions every day was overwhelming for me, but also knowing that help is available was a relief.

I then had an ultrasound and it turned out to be a very large mass and the specialist decided to do a biopsy (more puncturing of my fun-bag and a surgical procedure to find out whether it was malignant (cancerous) or benign (not cancerous).

After a couple of days I went back in to get the results and thankfully the tumour it isn’t cancerous but it is a fibroadenoma tumour (do not google the images they are horrific trust me!) and is far to big a growth and I will be have a procedure to get it removed. I’ll probably let you know how that goes too. Honestly I am so relieved but I am definitely more vigilant now.

The moral of my story folks? BE BREAST AWARE!

When your in the shower ladies have a feel know what is normal for you so should anything should change you should know.

Why not sign up for CoppaFeels monthly reminder to check your girls here.

I’m signed up now and from now on will be super vigilant.

Also never go to an appointment alone wether the news is good or bad have someone with you!!!!

Also Cop A Feel now and then.

Here is what to look for c/o of CoppaFeel

Have a good day and if you take away any thing from this just remember to be breast aware.

NRC X